Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Piano practice at home

Sometimes, I think that the Coats experience has changed Anjali somehow. Or is it my perception of her that has changed over the past three months? These things are , of course, very difficult to distinguish and are so overlapped in my brain, that it is impossible to distinguish one from the other.

I suppose that that going through this whole business with surgeries has made me cherish Anjali much more than I used to. Sometimes, I wonder if the cherishing of Anjali comes at a cost to Sophia. Sophia has always been far more rowdy, far more resilient, and now in interactions, I tend to take advantage of her resilience. Often it works to my advantage, as the best way to get Sophia to do something is by starting off contradictory, whereas the best way to get Anjali to do something has always been to be straightforward and nice about it. I have always had a lot of fun needling Sophia into doing a chore, but now I wonder if she takes this rough handling negatively.

Then there is the whole thing about Anjali. We have seen a rather marked increase in Anjali's perseverance, her ruggedness, self confidence, and eagerness to learn and experience life. Anjali has somewhat transformed from a quiet, shy child to an outspoken, if sometimes aggressive one. Her aggressiveness tends to border on rude when she is tired, but atleast she is not breaking down and crying as she used to before, opting instead to be sarcastic (which is both endearing and infuriating to me). IS this a developmental change or is it a direct consequence of her surgeries, as though she is discovering what the world is capable of doing to her and steeling herself to face it?

A week or so ago, I sat down and thought about how I had changed as well over the past couple of months and the number of things I have learnt has also been so enormous that it seems to me that there is a silver lining somewhere.

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