Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Growing with love

Anjali wanted to take her kick scooter to the Jurong Library on Thursday. She rode it all the way to a flight of stairs. I expected her to ask me or husband to carry the scooter for her up the stairs. but as I caught up with her, she calmly got off the kickscooter, lifted the contraption and patiently hauled it up the stairs.

There is so much that is involved in the development of a child. There is the development of the body, the mind, the emotions, the soul - oftentimes, we focus much on mental development and chuck the child into Kumon and what not and I ask myself - how does the child learn to carry a heavy scooter up a rather long flight of steps?

We were taking pictures for Anjali's passport and she decided to go into play mode. The photos that I took ended up like these

When i finally finished taking something that looked reasonable, Sophia wanted her photos taken ("I will stand vei still and not move and not do any money business!")

And I took this
 And Anjali jumped into the foray with herr monkeying and the next photo that i took ended up like this
Whereupon I scolded Anjali and she burst into tears and husband came along saying "Why are you scolding her unnecessarily over a photo that you dont need to take?"

Some time later, I found Anjali on the bed, grumbling

"Naughty Mummy!"

I sat next to her.

"I would like to play with you. How can I play with you?"

"My love cup is empty!", she said, sniffling.

And then there was the hug and kiss and make up routine.

I wish it were as simple to deal with husband when he sulks.

It has made me realize that as children grow, their feelings get more complex. Scolding or disciplining Sophia when she refuses to brush her teeth is a simple problem, no matter how many times I rant in the blog about it. She cries blue murder for three minutes and then hugs and all is peaceful again. I remember days in the past when Anjali used to be the same. But then growing comes in, and scolding takes on new dimensions to the child and new questions to the parent.

What do you do when you are intending to do something serious, and have a bad headache at the back of your head due to work and the kid wants to monkey around? Do you:

1. Shelf the serious project and monkey with the kid
2. Explain to the child the seriousness of the project and hope she will cooperate
3. Let her monkey around for a while and hope that she will tire of the monkeying and then reapproach the serious project again
4. Scold the child

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