Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Those who laugh will get a bad scolding

Anjali and husband had a fight last night. It began with me urging her to go on the potty, while the little imp decided that the best place that she wanted to be was the bed. A long circuitous reasoning conversation that lasted nearly 15 minutes resulted in a big wet puddle in the middle of the mattress and a crying girl.

This was made worse by the fact that I had forgotten to tell the maid to put a mattress protector. So the big wet puddle had soaked through the mattress. Husband was annoyed and told Anjali off. "She shouldnt have played so long when you have been urging her for the past fifteen minutes". I went to the kitchen to get baking soda. The imp followed me jumping around, saying...

"Soda! Bubbles! Soda! Bubbles"

When I returned from the bedroom, the imp was still standing in the kitchen, with a toffee in her hand, open, and her mouth full of chocolate.
"Who gave you chocolate?" I asked.

"Daddy!" She replied, without blinking her eyes

"She snatched it from me", said husband.

We have a rule in the house about chocolates for Anjali in the evening. So, husband went and without any ceremony, snatched the chocolate back from Anjali and with even less ceremony chucked the thing into the dustbin. This, I think, was the second straw. The imp began to throw a tantrum, whereupon we tried the distraction routine (I cant begin to tell you how much we love the distraction routine in our house. It really works!!)

The imp then brushed her teeth, played another fifteen minutes or so, and then decided that she wanted milk and sleep. So she drank her milk, and the lights went off. But instead of sleeping, she went back on the bed and started giving orders.

"Mummy, Sheep!", "Daddy Sheep!"

The imp was lying in some weird position where it was impossible for two of us to sleep around her. So husband tried to pick her up and put her properly on the bed.

"No No Anniya!" She said.

In the half a millisecond that it took for husband to interpret that she wanted to move on the bed herself and to put her back down, the temper flared again. She plopped back on bed (in the ridiculous position) and began another tantrum.

The distraction routine calmed her. But it was the final straw.

"Anjali, say sorry to daddy!"

"No No!!"

Daddy tried to hold Anjali's hand.

The imp snatched it away.

"Anjali!" I chided, torn between amusement, exasperation and a need to preserve some sanity. "Thats not the way to behave. Say sorry!"

"No No!"

"then mummy has nothing to say to you." And I lay down on bed.

The imp began to crawl towards me in the dark.

"Mummy. Mummy Mummy....."

"Ok, come here," I said, softening up.

"Anjali, daddy loves you."

"No No, mummy!"

I was glad it was dark and she wont have to see the expression on my face.

"Baby! daddy loves you and just wanted to help you"

"No No!!"

"You must say sorry to daddy"

"No No!"

"Dont nag her", said husband wisely. "It says so in all the books that you must not repeat the same thing more than three times, then it loses the effect."

So I dropped it. But I still intend to make her apologize to her dad this evening when we get back from work.

If I can :P

3 comments:

  1. hi K

    Read your mail and the entry. Well, I have similar issues of meltdowns and we are working on it too. I just got these tips on a website thought that you can read them too amongst the n mumber of items we've already read!

    http://wikiparenting.parentsconnect.com/wiki/Positive_Discipline_Ideas

    Dont you just wish that kids came with instruction manuals!

    ReplyDelete
  2. another one -

    http://www.parentingweb.com/discipline/ep_tantrums.htm

    ReplyDelete
  3. Boy I wish they did. right now, the only one I like is to give her the support saying that we love you even if you dont get what you want. Husband's tactic is to just ignore her when she throws a tantrum... which works sometimes...

    Unfortunately, if, after the tantrum, she is sulking, and we tell herr to be happy, she says "Sad!!"

    ReplyDelete

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