Monday, March 31, 2008

Why i make a lousy mother

Last evening, husband came to me and said, "Kithu, you are a wonderful mother".
Well, over the last weekend, i have bereated myself on what a lousy mom I make, so husband's compliments were kind of a surprise. So let me tell you why i thought I was a lousy mother.
Once I gave Anjali hot tea at a party. I took a glass, she said, mum mum, and I gave it to her, never realizing that it was so hot. Anjali set a screaming terror of a noise, we had to work a bit to calm her down, but later, all was fine.
I let husband let her do all sorts of explorations, like stomping on the puddles of water on the road, and wait a minute, sitting in the middle of the road to play with puddles. Yes, it is cute, yes, she learns a lot, yes, it is not doing her any harm to do that, not if I change her clothes afterwards, and yes, she is having three truckloads of fun. But oh, it feels so mortifying to have people stare, to know that it is not socially acceptable to have your baby play on road puddles, and to know that if bunica read this and understood it, she will take the next flight down to Singapore, take Anjali to Romania and file a complaint with child protection services.
On both Saturday and Sunday, I was so ultra tired that i plonked on bed and fell asleep, trying to get Anjali to sleep with me. When she didnt sleep but wanted to play, I didnt get up to play with her. I just yelled to husband to watch her and fell right back to sleep. Gosh, that makes me a lousy mother and a lousy wife :(
I gave Anjali hot pumpkin pudding. To be fair, I blew the spoon a couple of times before giving it to her, but that didnt cool the pumpkin well enough.
Granma suspects that i starve Anjali in the weekends. Says that Anjali does not poo ennough on Monday mornings.
Husband and I often let Anjali play with paints. She likes them, but she gets paints on her hands and puts her hand in her mouth. Last time this happened, her teeth became green. They are non toxic, I told myself, as I plopped her in the bathroom fifteen minutes later. It said non toxic on the box, atleast.
I try to cop out of trips to the swimming pool and trips to the playground, using the time instead to catch up on housework.
And then listen with a mixture of pride and envy as a totally exhausted husband relays all the things that Anjali did in the playground or the pool.
I only hope that husband is not being particularly sarcastic with his wonderful husband comments.

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1 comment:

  1. This was good - why? because it mirrored my feelings too - perhaps I can write you a long mail on why I sometimes feel that I am a lousy mom/housekeeper/wife!
    Take care and I am sure God will give us LOTS of strength to go on....


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